Hello to all the baby dolls and cool cats out there tonight. It’s been a quick minute since I’ve posted anything and I apologize. I guess the start of the new year really took a real toll on my entire being, especially this month. I’m barely recovering now as I explained to a friend in a letter that I wrote to him. I spent the last three days around friends and family which depleted most if not all of my energy, just one of the perks of being an introvert. I’m currently in bed now where I spent majority of the late afternoon and most of the night catching up on sleep and reading.
Tonight I got to thinking about the letter I wrote to my friend who is currently in Afghanistan. I was just catching him up on my life since my last letter which consisted of spending all my free time on my writing (which, by the way, is a lot of things I’m quite proud of. Of course, my opinion could be a little biased: Three poems, a new “G St.” and an original blog, but more on those later.) I was telling him that I can’t focus on my work unless I can feel it, which explains why it has taken me so long to post. Words are not just letters that come in black and white to me. They are colorful emotions to which I paint my pictures with and in some cases I get these images (or sometimes colors) in my head. Even a singing voice can put images in my head. (I see melted chocolate when I hear Christina Aguilera’s voice, smooth. Maybe with some crushed almonds for that growl she has lol.) I think I saw a thing like this on 20/20.
Example:
-“Teeth clenched”: two jagged rocks rubbing together.
-“Lips pulled in a tight line”: a flat horizon with the sun coming up.
-“Somber”: A word meaning “grave” or “serious” but I see green grass with morning dew on it.
-“Love”: a soft luminous pink.
So you can see why it’s difficult for my brain to sit still and write something when it’s too busy being stimulated by its own definition of words. But somehow, by the grace of the art gods, I have completed a few works of writing. I thought about giving a quick description about what they’re about (the poems at least, but I think those should speak for themselves or at least be interpreted by your own definition. That’s what art is about.) Instead, here’s what I got on deck:
-“Body Talk”
-“Perfect Distraction”
-“Taylor”
-“G St. Chapter Five: One Wish”
As for the original blog post I’m working on, I haven’t quite found that perfect hook I’m looking for. No colors, no images, not feeling yet. Not exactly something I’d be proud to post. I’ll keep rolling around with it until it feels right or I just might end of deleting it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my future and the direction I’d like for it to go. I’ve been reading “Fresh Men 2”, a collection of short stories from new voices in gay literature and I think that’s what inspired me to finish four works of writing. I’ve been researching writing contests and things of that sort for LGBT writers. I think it’s time I dip my toe in those waters and see what could become of it. I’d really like to be a voice in the gay community whether it is a literary or musical one.
Well, it’s time for this freshman to get some rest with the hopes that I’ll wake up refreshed.
As always, all my love and eternal gratitude to those who have read and continue to read all the ups and downs of this luxurious life
And remember, we are all beautiful colors that make up this rainbow <3
xoxo,
B.
You're an inspirational person Ben!
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